Communication Skills and Listening
14 Oct 2007
When the words ‘communication skills’ are mentioned, most people automatically think of speaking. The fact is the listening is a far more important skill to develop than speaking. So here are some key tips to improve your listening skills and become a world-class communicator:
Face the person who is speaking, make and maintain eye contact. This tells the person that you are focused on them and are listening. But don’t stare at them for too long at any one time – that could make them feel uncomfortable.
Keep your body language neutral. Crossed arms when theirs are not crossed, hands on hips and looking and turning your head away from the person who is speaking send out bad signals.
Confirm you are listening by nodding and smiling from time to time and making occasional, short verbal acknowledgements that do not interrupt their flow.
Never, ever interrupt anyone when they are speaking and for a number of reasons:
1 - I’m sure you hate being interrupted. It is rude and people do not like it. You can destroy all the relationship building you have been developing in a split second by interrupting someone else.
2. It tells the person who is speaking that you are not really listening and are not really interested in what else they have to say.
3. By interrupting you stop the person giving you all the information you need to respond to them accurately.
4. By waiting until they have finished, you may well find that a response is not even necessary. Often people just want to get some things off their chest and then just move on. By interrupting you could create a real problem when none existed in the first place and when all you would have needed to say was something simple like ‘thank you for sharing that with me’.
And lastly – Silent Interruption.
Think carefully about what the speaker is saying, not what you are going to say next. So often people hear something and start to think about what they are going to say in response to the point just made. In doing so they will almost certainly miss some vital information that is far more important. That’s why I call it ‘silent interruption’. If you need to, make a brief note of the point mentioned that you want to revisit and address and raise it when they have finished.